As many of you might know. Covid-19 has hit the world with immense force. Sweden is no exception from that. I could tell you all about statistics and how the government in Sweden has dealt with this strange and horrifying situation, but what I want to tell you is how it has affected me and my thoughts.
For you I might be just a name and a nationality and probably a gender and maybe an age. I am also a mother, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister and lots of other things. In the beginning of it all, when the news came about Corona, I did not truly understand how a virus could affect the entire world. I remember being at work in february I think, when it hit me that the information I was seeing on our big screens everywhere has started to shift from handling news about the company to ways the company was taking precautions to keep everyone safe. This virus that no one knew how to deal with, part form that it is extremely contagious. And potentially deadly.
I never thought that distancing myself from strangers would affect me in the way that it has. I constantly recognize patterns, sounds or situations that I find dangerous and it has been so normal that when I see someone I know I have lost the urge to make physical contact. For people that know me, I am not a person that will let you down when hugging. I love it. I love to connect overall. I thrive on seeing that glimpse of total understanding and calmness from someone you connect with in any way. It could be anyone: a staff member at a random store, someone standing next to you. The realization that these moments now has a dark shadow of disbelief in how cautiously people treat this virus made me really sad at first..
Let me tell you about a situation that made a difference to me that happened quite recently. I was at a gas station with my daughter. I had promised her an ice cream and if you have experience of 3-year olds, you know that they remember everything you promise them.
When we entered the gas station there were lots of people there and as per usual my heart rate increased while I was criss-crossing my way past everyone to find the ice cream isle. While cueing I began wondering about this situation and how normal it had become to stand there and watch these round circles telling us all to keep distance. My daughter began twirling which made the cue change it’s form a bit. This angry man kept walking up to the cashier in the front, asking for more mashed potatoes that he supposedly had already paid for and I could see all this happening while searching for the eyes of the casher that the angry man focused on. My daughter danced past one more circle and suddenly I made eye contact with the cashier. In his eyes you could see a mixture of frustration and calmness. He had definitely experienced this type of angry man before. As he registered my daughters ice cream, I noticed that my daughters eyes laid big on the angry mans hands that waved up and down and back and forth – like a dance. I could in the corner of my eye see how she started mimicking his movements whilst having a totally different feeling in them. The cashier noticed it too and his eyes sparkled for just a second. We met eyes and in that moment with that total stranger I felt a connection that lowered my shoulders from all of this suspiciousness and I thought to myself that Corona or not, people will always be angry from not getting ones mashed potatoes. Children will mimic movements and turn them into dance moves. For me, knowing that certain emotions and situations will always surpass whatever is hurting our world sent a calming light to my heart.
We are still here, together. Maybe not close at hand but close at heart. I love you stranger.
Main photo by Edu Lauton
